Emotions play an important role in life and seems to impact every aspect of it. Yep, they are real no matter how many times we have tried to stuff or ignore them. They are there and will get expressed one way or another so we might as well take ownership of them.
Craig Boreth has sage advise for men regarding emotion. I believe it appears in the section of his book he calls "The Mothering Male." He has just shared how a Canadian study recently found that men's testosterone levels drop by as much as one third after their first baby is born and continues to decrease in similar increments with each additional child causing nasty side effects such as emotional imbalance, weakening of muscle, etc.(page 7).
Boreth continues with "men either you face up to your feelings and bring them out into the open, or they will fester inside you and be expressed physically. However, if you notice yourself experiencing symptom's that are very similar to your wife's, tell your brain that you know what's going on and you are not going to fall for it. I would recommend that you do not do this out loud, especially not in a public place with heavy security. If that doesn't work and you think you are becoming "too emotional" you may need to take more drastic measures ... quickly grab some Double stuffed Oreos or a bag of chips and a big honkin' piece of meat and watch TV until your feelings return to normal! (How to Feel Manly in a Minivan, pages 60-66)
Well, maybe that is not such sage advise after all but hopefully you got a chuckle out of reading it. Clearly, one of the reasons why people choose not to forgive is because they simply do not feel like it! They will state that their painful feelings are too intense.
However, forgiveness is an act of the will, not of the emotions. We will never be free from anger or depression unless we release the individual from their debt to us. It will take time but feelings of forgiveness and the ability to move on will come. Thank God, He did not wait until it felt good to forgive us!
Here is some real sage advise to take into your day. "Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord" (Hebrews 12:14)
Wait, it just dawned on me ... I have three children! Yikes, does that mean I have no testosterone left? Maybe that is why I bought a minivan! Hmmmm....interesting.
Thanks for stopping by!
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Adrian
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I believe it's important to understand that the ability to forgive doesn't come naturally to humans. It's foreign to our experience.
ReplyDeleteThat's wht it's so hard. In Eden there was no need to forgive.
Forgiveness offends our sense of justice, our desire for fairness. It oppposes the curse. Christ came to remove the curse.
All we have to do is choose.
Choose to repent of our need to punish the offenders in our lives.
Forgiveness is of the Father, notice Jesus didn't say "He" forgave us for His Death, He asked the Father to forgive. How many of us can go beyond our forgiving of others and intercede on their behalfs to seek the Fathers forgiveness as well."Pray for your enemies..""Love those who spitefully use you..."
Carry on!
As a side note, I'm reading a book called "The 5000 Year Leap", it's quite facsinating.
Narrow,
ReplyDeleteTell me more about the 5k year leap. Is it something you can lead discussion on at the Fight Club this Saturday?
About your comment... "Jesus didn't say, He forgave us for His death, He asked the Father to forgive us." Do you think that holds true when we ask for the forgiveness of personal sin at the time of salvation? Don't most people ask Jesus into their heart and to forgive them of their sins rather than ask God? Curious
Good point on forgiveness. If we wait till it 'feels right' how sad.
ReplyDeleteWhen my children hold a grudge against one another, as a parent, it saddens me. I am thrilled when they make up and forgive.
I am certain God feels that way too!
And I don't even want to think of where I'd be if God picked what he wanted to forgive me for....and not.
Sorry, I can't add to the manly topics. :)
drh,
ReplyDeleteDepends on how far I get thru it.
It may cause trouble!:@o
drh,
ReplyDeleteYes.
Not sure if it matters.
Probably not. At the beginning there is little understanding of....well anything.
No one truly knows what they're getting themselves into when they acknowledge Jesus and accept Him. If they did they'd most likely run away(like marriage!?:0)) Like most relationships really.
Very few understand what He demands of His Disciples. The depths of intimacy,surrender and obedience to His leading, He calls us to, is frightening. The fear of the Lord turns most into spiritual cowards.
I thank Him that He weakened me enough thru His loving discipline that I didn't have the strength to allow my fear of Him to enable me resist any longer.
Carry on!
Uncle A,
ReplyDeleteThe bike cancels out the minivan - You are the best of the uncles - tied, maybe - with the other bike rider.
Forgivness of others for me is always a reminder of how much I have been forgiven. Since I can't function without God's forgiveness, I choose to forgive others as soon as I realize I am holding a grudge or upset with someone (which sometimes takes longer that I would like - the realzation not the forgiveness)
Sue
Personally I like to get my hands dirty in a project around the house to make myself feel more manly. I have been trying to finish my basement now for several months. I feel it is important for a man to have a couple outlets in his life to plug himself into in times of 'emotional turmoil'.
ReplyDeleteHaving a child on the way myself I really can't speak about the loss of testosterone experience. But, I think there are several ways of replenishing the lost from child birth. Ex. KN air filter in your minivan, Nice looking rims and tires also. :)
--Cletis
This appears to becoming a family affair.;@/
ReplyDelete