Schadenfreude!
"Schadenfreude is a word from German decent meaning to take pleasure in the suffering of another." In context Craig Boreth is writing to new fathers and says "there is no sweeter sound than someone else's kid screaming in a public place while yours silently sleeps on your lap. (How to Feel Manly in a Minivan, page 133)
Schadenfreude ... I have included this phrase this morning for a couple of reasons. One, even though my babies are 27, 25 and 21 years old I can still recall some of the awkward moments of having a screaming kid in a quiet church service. For some reason the boys never quite got it ... didn't they know that the preacher's kids are not suppose to act out during prayer times, sermons or altar calls?
Another reason I am including Boreth's quote is because it is a theme I see over and over again in counseling. People just simply enjoy schadenfreude for those who have harmed them in some way or another. As if suffering for the one who has hurt us is some how viewed as righteous justice from on High.
I suppose we all have a story. Some difficulty, tragedy, or sin that requires us to respond. Like someone trapped in a loveless marriage, where the hurts keep piling on with no end in sight. Or someone who has been falsely accused, slandered, humiliated, violated or cheated.
Perhaps we have chosen not to deal with it through forgiveness thinking that we are not harboring unforgiveness or bitterness and yet we keep talking about how deeply we have been hurt or sinned against by another. Implying that we are merely helpless victims. But are we destined to live damaged lives? Or is there real healing for life's hurts? I say there is ... through Jesus Christ.
Isaiah 53 states "that by His stripes we are healed!" The Easter season serves as a reminder that Jesus Christ is all about forgiveness, relationship and restoration. We cannot truly experience it in our own heart, family or church until we learn to forgive those who have caused us pain. Until we are set free from the shackles of bitterness.
What say you ... What are your thoughts on forgiveness? Will it stop the power of Christ's resurrection from being fully manifest in a person's life?
Thanks for stopping by!
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Adrian
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I always like the saying - Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
ReplyDeleteI have been around too many people that have chosen not to forgive and they have turned into bitter, lonely and sad people. I believe that forgiveness isn't a choice in a believers life -- that it is required for God' forgiveness to you. Matthew 6:14-15. So I guess my answer is that unless I am perfect and don't need God's forgiveness than unforgiveness on my part will inhibit Christ's power in me.
I personally want God's forgiveness more than hanging on to my unforgiveness!
In my small group with Mastering Motherhood we just covered a chapter on how to teach your child forgiveness - how to give it and receive it. Of course the main teaching tool for my kids is me as a parent showing forgiveness to others.
ReplyDeleteNow, if I were to score myself on a 1-10 scale 10 being "I forgive all the time" I would give myself an 8, but then I am reminded that my PRIDE gets in the way - and whether or not I like to wallow in my pit or make someone wallow in their's comes into play. This is usually an inter-family type of deal. Thankfully with good communication these fires are put out rather quickly.
I would have to say that the act of forgiveness is obedience to God's Will in our lives. Of course when we are walking in the center of God's Will we have freedom - freedom from pride and unforgiveness to just name a few.
I remember in the summer of 2007 when we had the preacher from North Carolina come and speak on forgiveness and remind us that forgiving others sets us free - it doesn't excuse the one who has hurt us - but we are to leave that to God. I think that has been my experience that somehow my unforgiving attitude punishes the perpetrator when actually it punishes me more.
I like this whole freedom in Christ gig. LOVE RULES ... I just need to keep reminding myself to stay in the center of God's Will - not my world.
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteAmen to that! I too need God's forgiveness in my life.
Suezieszoo,
NICE post! I need to hear more from you... talk to us sister :-)
Phd,
ReplyDeleteIf not for this "schadenfreude woud we have any relationship at all? ;@)
First it was motorcycles, then Jeeps, now grand babies! I'm getting tired of my life revolving around yours!
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March 24, 2009
Decreasing for His Purpose
He must increase, but I must decrease —John 3:30
If you become a necessity to someone else’s life, you are out of God’s will. As a servant, your primary responsibility is to be a "friend of the bridegroom" (John 3:29 ). When you see a person who is close to grasping the claims of Jesus Christ, you know that your influence has been used in the right direction. And when you begin to see that person in the middle of a difficult and painful struggle, don’t try to prevent it, but pray that his difficulty will grow even ten times stronger, until no power on earth or in hell could hold him away from Jesus Christ.
Over and over again, we try to be amateur providences in someone’s life. We are indeed amateurs, coming in and actually preventing God’s will and saying, "This person should not have to experience this difficulty." Instead of being friends of the Bridegroom, our sympathy gets in the way. One day that person will say to us, "You are a thief; you stole my desire to follow Jesus, and because of you I lost sight of Him."
Beware of rejoicing with someone over the wrong thing, but always look to rejoice over the right thing. ". . . the friend of the bridegroom . . . rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease" ( John 3:29-30 ). This was spoken with joy, not with sadness-at last they were to see the Bridegroom! And John said this was his joy. It represents a stepping aside, an absolute removal of the servant, never to be thought of again.
Listen intently with your entire being until you hear the Bridegroom’s voice in the life of another person. And never give any thought to what devastation, difficulties, or sickness it will bring. Just rejoice with godly excitement that His voice has been heard. You may often have to watch Jesus Christ wreck a life before He saves it (see Matthew 10:34 ).
Oswald Chambers
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Is this too, Schadenfreude?
Narrowminded,
ReplyDeleteOne, you are welcome! I am glad to provide both life and misery for you...
Two, you are a smart man and yet you do not have a minivan ... what's up with that?
Did you actually think that I would comment on "Manhood" ... I'll leave that to the experts ...
ReplyDeleteI did agree with Bob's statement on the first day - our culture can be so stong in molding our views of men and women - especially for those not rooted in Christ. Why else would I expect my marriage to be 50/50. That myth was blown out of the water within the first 6 months.
The act of "not forgiving" is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is of much greater benefit to the forgiver than the forgivee.
“Dilige, et quod vis fac"
Mimic Christ. Dying on a cross, Father forgive them... Wow! I don't think that anything can stop the power, power, wonder working power of Christ, but definitely hinder it's effectiveness.
ReplyDelete--Cletis
Cletis,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the blog. Are you going to be a regular follower?
:-)
I will stopping in upon occasion to see what is going on and to comment.
ReplyDelete--Cletis :)